Start: 188.4
Day 1 - So...188.4. How's that? Phew! Today I made some sugar-free pudding. I'm studying boxes and packages every time I venture down an aisle at the grocery store...because I'm not doing much shopping down those aisles...not much on my 100 foods list resides outside of the outskirts...but I think the jello is safe. There's some chemicals in there, but I'm eating FAR less chemical crap than I used to. So..I'm okay. And then I had a small bowl after dinner. I sure want bread. And although I'm not a potato chip person, I sure want some Lays Carolina BBQ chips. Just want something salty and crunchy...hmmm...now that I just typed that, I realized that I get salty and crunchy cravings (and I mean huge cravings) monthly...so, perhaps I'm just getting hormonal. And it's a good thing I don't go down the aisles at the grocery store. Only so much perseverance a woman can do! (i bought my husband bread that i don't care about...makes that part a bit easier)
Day 2 - This morning's verdict: 188.0. I don't expect it to hold, since today is a veggie day, BUT...it gives me hope that at the end of this week, I'll be a solid 187. Maybe I'll get a glimpse of a 186...who knows. Can you tell I'm still doubting? I fully expect to wake up some morning and have that scale tell me 205 once again. Some people, when learning how long the Dukan phases will take me, express their dismayal on my behalf. I'm not there. I need all of that time to retrain my brain. To let my inner skinny self come back to life. To believe in the change. To purge my drawers and closets of the bigger clothes. To leave my bad eating habits behind. I need it all. So I believe the number on the scale. So I believe the fit of my clothes. So I can eat a cookie without be scared. To the veggies of the day...I indulged in fresh garden beans and squash from my future-son-in-law's mother's garden. Included halved yellow cherry tomatoes with the beans...very good. I look forward to harvesting my own garden someday...when I live where I can actually do such a thing. Plus, it seemed that they filled me up more than frozen veggies...and kept me full longer. Is that weird? I'll experiment again in two days to see if it was just a fluke or if it really did that...the longer I'm on this diet, the less I'm snacking on smaller protein/lowfat dairy. Maybe I'm getting the meals down better...maybe I'm adjusting to eating a normal amount instead of eating too much.
Day 3 - 186.6. Well...isn't that a surprise! Sitting here, I actually feel a bit more normal. Not as bulky. No one at church mentioned anything...that's okay. I guess. My husband and daughters notice. I feel a difference when washing my face and putting on makeup...my face isn't as chunky...in fact, I don't know that I'd call my face chunky anymore. I think I shall dangle a carrot (or, in this case, a cookie) out in front of me for the end of the month...I'm going to spend my daughters birthdays with them. Instead of cake, I shall visit my favorite bakery and get myself a cookie. Or a cupcake. We'll see. If I focus on that when I'm getting my salty/crunchy cravings, then I can easily not succumb. My friends introduced me to propel water...it has electrolytes and vitamins in it. Since I started drinking one of those bottles each day, I'm not feeling as weird in my brain and body...so even though I drink lots of water, perhaps those additives are helping put something back in my body that I need.
Day 4 - 187.2. Yeah...don't know what's up with that...did I have too much salt yesterday? Or perhaps it's my hatred for exercise? Except for hiking...I love that. But, don't really have a place to do that here. Not interested in sharing my zen hike with cougars and/or rattlesnakes. I did rather enjoy my regular small hikes in Bountiful. And sitting on "my rock" watching the sun go down. But here? Sigh. I just can't find anything that strikes me as not torture. So...I do my T-Tapps...and hope for a better number tomorrow. I don't like the going up thing. I'd be fine with the number staying still...not for long, but...now I'm just frustrated. And I want a piece of cake...and a cookie...and carolina bbq potato chips...and noodles... And yes, I'm aware that I'm having a bratty rebellious attitude right now...so, instead of sabotaging myself, I shall just have a bad attitude for tonight and hopefully wake up with a better outlook in the morning.
Day 5 - Back to 186.6. Don't understand this number thing. Oh well. Have a headache forming, but then, I had a crappy night's sleep. Got up at 5, as usual, to get my husband's lunch made and get him out the door. Ate my breakfast. And now, I shall now go take a nap and hopefully, that's what's up with this headache...took my nap. Headache gone. Tried on a few "waiting" (you know, almost all of us have the too-small wardrobe) t-shirts. Surprise! One that was a bit too snug two weeks ago fits! My favorite gray capris are almost too big...I shall be sad when it comes time to get rid of them. Maybe I can find a smaller size on ebay... Need to remember to watch my salt intake and exercise...bleah...but, need to maintain the numbers and not go up again. I mean, if I'm going to be going up, then I'm going to go ahead and eat bread, you know? And I do NOT want to cross that line.
Day 6 - And...we have that not-so-desirable-once-again-number-of-188.4. Do not get this. And I'm in a downright pissy mood. I know that part of it is hormonal...I know part of it is that I am tired...I know part of it is that stinkin' number...I know part of it is frustration...I know part of it is dread for the weigh in on Friday for the bottom part of this post. I do NOT want a higher number. For crying out loud. I've given up bread...I've given up sugar...I've given up cookies... Husband had a chocolate zinger tonight. The wrapper was by me...I told him he needed to move it. He moved it to the other end of the table (we were working on a puzzle). Later, I still smelled that luscious chocolate...I grabbed it and threw it away. He thought it was funny that my nose was able to smell it. I said it smelled too much like a cupcake. Sigh. It's just been a bad day. Didn't even eat a lot. When I got really hungry, I'd figure out something to eat..other than that, I was just annoyed with food. I guess I ought to give myself a break. Tomorrow, I'll have been doing this for 7 weeks. It's okay to have a bad emotional day. I guess. I'll watch my sodium tomorrow...I'll do my T-Tapps...and hope for the best.
Day 7 - 187.4. Well..the number went down. I'm not quite as annoyed...read a few success stories online today. Gave myself a mini pep talk. Decided to make myself a chart of where my weight should be so I can get to my goal by the end of November. That way, if the scale plays a goofy game (like how i put it on the scale? yeah, i caught that) like it has this week, I can look at that chart and if I'm on track, I can tell myself I'm okay. That's the plan at least. I had a board meeting tonight, they always provide dinner..but from past experience, it really isn't anything I can eat. So I drank an Atkins shake (i think it's okay) before I went and it kept me okay for five hours, until I got home. Ate two poached eggs (cuz they're close to fried eggs, but no grease) and made some of the Dukan fake cookies. I haven't had those since before our "vacation" was over, thought I should get back to them. Maybe that'll help. Dunno. Just hoping for a good number in the morning for the final verdict of week six.
Official weigh in from the end of my sixth week in the Cruise Phase: 186.4
Week six weight loss: 2
Total weight loss: 18.6
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