Start: 173.2
Day 1 - 173.2. Not as bad as I thought it might be. It's a place to start. Whatever this mind thing has been for the past few weeks, it's leaving. I'm getting annoyed with myself. I'm almost there. To the weight I'm aiming for and to the next dosage of determination I need. This hasn't been the easiest year...loads of growing opportunities, if you catch my drift. This month has been...enlightening...difficult...exhausting mentally, physically, and spiritually. But I can only do what I can do...and that's only about myself. So. Did a little online Christmas shopping...got Christmas Eve jammies for my children...and...yup. Got a black "jammies" for myself. In medium. Let the hubby be surprised and bring on Christmas Eve! Medium...size medium...
Day 2 - 172.2. Watching a show last night. A personal trainer was explaining how this woman needs to figure out how to deal with her stress because until she gets her mind and body on the same road, she's not going to see progression with her weight loss. I almost broke into tears. That's what this year has been about...getting my ducks in a row. Lots of factors went into this. And then, this year...bleah...and this month....sigh...I'm getting back to me. And "me" is not double-digit sized. Not to say that a size 10 isn't acceptable. BUT, I am short. I ought to be able to have size 8's in my wardrobe that fit my body. Clothes shopping ought not be a miserable experience. I'll not be a skinny minnie, don't want to be that. I want to be able to eat food.. Just want to match the me in my mind with the me in the mirror. Need to get more settled in my mind and soul. I'm getting there. Which may explain the restlessness to finish this cruise phase up.
Day 3 - 172.0
Day 4 - ... silent ...
Day 5 - 173.2. I'm working on it. Getting my head together. Getting my will power turned on and determination set in. I can do it. I know I can. Finish this phase. Get life re-centered. Move along move along...yeah, that's a song...
Day 6 - 173.something. Sigh. Letting go of images of how I want life to be, and accepting what is...that's difficult. Going to bed last night and saying: that's enough...and waking up this morning...and knowing that if I maintain today or "cheat", it's up to me...and deciding...oh...I do NOT even know how many times today I have decided to stick to the 100 foods list. It's almost bedtime...and I have not had any non-Dukan foods today. It has not been easy. But then, I got to thinking about this summer...and it wasn't easy...but I did it. And I can do this for a bit more. I have lost and kept 30 pounds GONE. Gone. That's what I did. No one else. Considering that? I've already done most of it. Getting to 159 will only take months if I keep half-assing it. Don't want to do that. Don't want to play with the numbers. Don't want to dread getting on the scale. Don't want to hide a cookie in my pocket (basketball shorts). Don't want to do that. I want to finish this journey...so I need to do it. Because no one else can do it for me. That kind of sucks. :) Anyway. Gold star for me today.
Day 7 - 172.4. Today, I am once again, a Dukaner. And folks...if you're reading this...my advice is: once you start, don't stop until you reach your goal...and here we go to my goal weight. If I hadn't been a 80-95%'er, I would should have hit my weight yesterday... Darn my hide.
Official weigh in from the end of my twenty-first week in the Cruise Phase: 170.6
Week twenty-one weight loss: 2.6
Total weight loss: 34.4
2 comments:
Keep it up. I love how you 'speak sternly' to yourself. You are so close now. Imagine how amazing you'll feel when you get to your goal. You've done the hard work so make sure to reward yourself. ZG
Keep going. I know, it's so agonizingly slow sometimes because life gets in the way - but you'll get there.
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