Start: 174.0
Day 1 - 174. Gotta love consequences of one's actions, eh? It has been a rather hellacious 1 1/2 weeks though. So...I'll work on being grateful that I've cut out quite a few harmful eating behaviors/habits...otherwise, I probably would have horked down a few bags of candy, tons of bread, etc the past while. Instead, I ate some of the meals I prepared for my husband...I did have a hamburger and a BLT...and cookies. I ate a few cookies. Overall..no...I still sucked. Today is a new day. This is a new week. I shall NOT gain this week. Even though I have some traveling and training coming up this week. At the banquet dinner I shall refrain from the nasty banquet bread and dessert and bring my fake cookies with me to eat after it's over. I'll just do better this week. Gotta find my motivation again. Maybe focus on the other night, when talking with my husband in bed after a difficult day (ha...that didn't differenciate any), I said I needed some positive strokes. Being who he is, he proceeded to stroke my head and say, "positive...positive..." Me, being in the state of mind that I was, about bawled. Then he said he's proud of me and I'm looking gorgeous. That there have been times lately that he's literally taking a double take. I didn't know that. So, of course, some tears come out of my head. Focus on the upcoming shopping for mother-of-the-bride outfit. Focus on future grandbabies and being able to run and play with them. Focus on making that pile of 'too big' clothes a bigger and better pile for my niece. Focus on what I have achieved thus far...because no matter how many time I mistype and write that I'm 200-and-something...I'm not. And won't be again. Period.
Day 2 - 172.8. Well, that number surprised me. Really didn't expect to see it. I'll take it. With a smile on my face. Awesome news! Tonight I zipped up my jacket! That thing has hung open for years...because I couldn't zip it up. But I did tonight! I'm just happy that I can wear my leather jacket as intended again.
Day 3 - 172.0. Oh Happy Day! That was my mini-celebration. Okay. So...my youngest daughter and I were talking on the phone last night, she asked how I was doing with my Fruit Loops (months ago when I said was doing this Dukan Diet...she thought I said Fruit Loops Diet...even got me a little box of Fruit Loops so show her support...), I told her fairly well. Still doing it? Still doing it...but not perfectly, need to get back in the groove. Told her I was about 80% on...then corrected myself. Honestly, it's more like 90-95%...leaning towards the 95. So, that conversation was enlightening. Need to give myself a break and acknowledgement for what I DO do. So. I was happy to see the number go down this morning...because it's validation of: I don't suck at this.
Day 4 - 171.8. Another happy morning! Except when I wasn't watching the microwave and my oat bran cereal boiled over...I looked at it all over the microwave plate thing...and thought: That's my food! (I love my hot oat bran cereal...even moreso now that I add cinnamon and sugar free creamer) Before (yeah, I should learn my lesson about now...), I'd just clean up the mess and eat what was still in my bowl. Not today. I want all of it. So. Clean up and start over. And the scale gave me a lower number..I ate pumpkin seeds last night for the first time since starting this and thought that salt would hold onto a bunch of water. I get nervous about salt now that I don't use it for myself.
Day 5 - 171.8. I'm okay with that. Gearing up for going out of town. The next week and a half are going to be crazy time. Between going out of town for a training...going out of town to pick up a kid...two kids not coming home..."Thanksgiving"...going out of town to return said kid...staying there for a few days...back home...Thanksgiving..., I'm a bit overwhelmed. Then, you add the lovely life drama that has been added to our plates as of late, and my desire to flip off most everyone...I'm in a GREAT place mentally. So. There you have it. I want to just eat my oat bran cereal. It'd make life a lot simpler. Too bad it doesn't have all the nutrients I need.
Day 6 - 171.8. Yeah, I'll keep it. It's not going up, that's a good thing. No complaining about my weight at all today. Traveled and avoided giving into fast food drive-thru temptations. Got myself a salad with grilled chicken.
Day 7 - ... not home today...did mostly good. Until the banquet. I ate the food. I didn't overeat, I didn't eat the potato...but I did eat a whole grain roll...and dessert. Then I didn't feel good. Not that I was bashing myself over the head, it was a decision I made...I physically didn't feel good. I came back up to my hotel room...did my T-Tapps, to hopefully avoid to much damage. Drank water. Still feeling weird in the head. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Only 10 1/2 hours of driving to do. I'm SO excited. Not.
Official weigh in from the end of my nineteenth week in the Cruise Phase:
Week nineteen weight loss: ... (not home to weigh myself)
Total weight loss: ...
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