Week 22 - Cruise Phase

(...this post sat unposted for 3 weeks...)

Start:  170.6

Day 1 - 170.6.  Well...go figure...work the plan and the numbers go down!  Got the last pajamas box today..for some reason, they split the order..whatever.  This was one of the girls' Christmas Eve jammies and that little nightgown I bought.  Hubby was playing one of his war video games, so I took it into the bathroom...completely in the frame of mind of seeing how far I need to go and if there's any way it'll fit for Christmas...IT FIT!!!  Granted, I'm not a model underneath, but...IT FIT!!!  Did you get that?  A medium.  Told hubby about it a few hours later because I was about to pop...even though I did text my sister.  He doesn't get to see it, I just told him it's a frickin' medium and it fit...and my eyes teared up.

Day 2 - 169.6.  I did the happy dance in the bathroom!  Seriously NEVER thought I'd see the 160's again.  Course, I never thought I'd see the 170's.  Now...I know these numbers go up and down slightly as I'm going along, but I hope to never see a 17-something again!  169.6.  Unreal.  Let us go for more mind blowing numbers.

Day 3 - 173.0.  What the hell?!?  As happy as my happy dance in the bathroom was yesterday...well, my scowly face was just as strong...as I got on and off the scale...on and off...on and off...got 170.4...172.8... I debated not posting the first number and then thought..oh well.  There it is.  In all it's glory.  Bleah.  Bleah.  And bleah.  I'll just do my best today and hope it's some weird water thing...strive to have my final number this week be in the 160's.  Shaking my head here...still scowling...so NOT what I meant by writing 'let us go for more mind blowing numbers'...

Day 4 - 171.4.  Okay...at this point, you just have to laugh.  Well, maybe not laugh...but definately chuckle.  Because it's just ridiculous.  Focus on the positive...enjoy eating veggies today...make sure I get my water and some exercise in...and just keep going forward.  

Day 5 - ... I weighed myself a few minutes after 5...I do not remember the number.  170-something.  And I wasn't happy with it.  Got hubby off to work...went back to bed.  And now?  I don't remember.  And I'm having a "polite" text discussion with my daughter right now when all I want to do it yell at her...and chuck all her Christmas presents out into the street and run over them...then back up over them...then run over them again.  And maybe repeat the process.  A few times.  I'm a bit angry.  And I am trying to not be an emotional eater right this moment.  And I'll try to keep that up.  And other than that, it's the best I can do right now.

Day 6 -  172.6.  So as I'm staring at my scale and that "lovely" number, I get to thinking about this stalling that I've done.  And the thought enters my head:  I don't care.  And then I get to thinking about why I don't care and I think because I have enough on my plate to figure out how to put to rest and my weight loss just isn't a priority right now.  Then I get to thinking about why that is and I get to wondering how long this has been going on.  And then...I realize the timing.  And I realize why.  And the "I don't care" thought makes complete sense.  So.  Now that I know, what do I do?  Shrugging here...don't know.  Because...it's not at the top of my priorities.  Getting a grasp on what my "new" reality is...getting a grasp on what I want from life and how to get there...that and the Christmas program for church is at the top of my list.  Christmas shopping is completed...I'm 90% looking forward to Christmas...anxious about my hands and the music...just accepting life for what it is and figuring out what to do.  Weight isn't there anymore.  Perhaps because I'm 30-35 below where I used to be?  Probably.  Not that I'm abandoning the Dukan Diet.  I'm not.  I'm just acknowledging that there are other issues in front of me that I've been putting first... I do believe I'll get to 159.  I do not know when, but at least I believe it now...whereas before, I never thought I'd see 180 again.  And now?  I'm never seeing it again...from a different direction.  And I am grateful for the tools that I have now to keep me away from that number.  

Day 7 -

Official weigh in from the end of my twenty-second week in the Cruise Phase:

Week twenty-two weight loss:

Total weight loss: