Week 23 - Cruise Phase

Start:  180.4

Day 1 - 180.4.  Well.  I misspoke.  I said I'd never see that number again.  Never say never.  I didn't intend on seeing it again.  And after...almost a month of not getting on the scale.  Of eating whatever the hell I wanted, and a bunch of stuff that I didn't want...here I am.  That's a good month lost...or gained, whichever way you want to look at it.  I'm not going to feel guilt.  No point in that.  It is what it is.  It was decisions I made to not even think about it.  And now, I get to think about it.  Already this morning, I was all...okay, so eat a cookie...eat that biscuit...you can start at lunch.  Nope...I didn't.  I had some turkey sausage, my oat bran cereal and mug of milk.  And for the rest of the day, I'll be true to that 100 foods list...well, the protein side.  And thus begins my final stint on this cruise phase.  **update at the end of the day...I drank my water, I ate my oat bran, I ate roasted chicken, without the skin, nonfat cottage cheese, turkey patties, the fake crab stuff, boiled egg, a zero carb no sugar chocolate ice cream bar...diet dr. pepper...what I did NOT eat were these amazing cookies that I know are in the freezer.  It was a new recipe...ended up being so very good...I just need to mail them to my daughters...get them out of the house.  It wasn't the easiest day.  But I did it, I'm going to bed now before I get weak.  Oh...and I did my mile walk with Leslie Sansone.  I'll do a little T-Tapp in the bathroom...get back down where I was so I can keep on keeping on.

Day 2 - 179.4.  One pound down.  Twenty to go.  I'm taking one moment of 'if only', then I'm leaving it behind... I had been 11 pounds away.  Okay.  That's over.  Hubby is off today and tomorrow.  He's very supportive, so he may be eating cereal...right now, I'm not much up for cooking different food for him.  We'll see.  Today...I shall persevere.  I made it yesterday, I can make it today.  I think I'll get those cookies out of the freezer and ship them to my daughters.  Then I won't see them.  I'm looking forward to my turkey patties...that's just silly, eh?  Did a two-mile walk today.

Day 3 - 178.4.  Another one gone.  Headache galore.  Lack of sugar headache?  Don't know.  I also remembered yesterday that I had found that drinking a Propel water every day helped...so I bought some and will sneak that into the movie today (ssshhh...).  Not going to do the 2-mile walk today, it makes my hips scream.  Maybe I'll do it once a week...see if my joints approve of that decision.  Stick to my T-Tapps and throw in the 1-mile walk.  Got some sugar-free jello and pudding.  See if that helps when I'm having a munchy attack.  I tell you, I get the munchies enough...good thing I've never done drugs...I'd be a roly-poly instead of chunky.  Although, I am leaving chunky behind.  Perhaps I'm just 'padded' now, and not 'chunky'.  Still no desire to cook other food for my husband.  Good thing we're going on a date tonight.  I just need to find a place where I can get meat, meat, and an egg.

Day 4 - 178.2.  Oh..today I am sad.  The hometown of my adult life had 6 officers shot last night.  One died during the wee hours of the night and I was on the phone with my brother...a cop in that same town...and my heart and soul are just so sad.  Saying the words aloud to my husband this morning, it was surreal.  To say, one 'bad guy'...six officers shot...  I'll take the .2 loss.  But right now, I'm feeling a bigger loss and am just so very sad.

Day 5 - 178.2.  Well...it didn't go up.  I walked a mile yesterday...didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to (even though, at the beginning of the week...here's my twisted confession...i told myself to do it three days and i could have a cookie...yesterday was that day, and i did NOT have a cookie...well, i had my 'fake' dukan cookie...but not the real cookie)...drank my water, had my propel, only had a tiny headache.  And didn't lose any weight.  But I didn't gain any.  I signed up on facebook for this month long weight loss challenge that a tv station in Utah is doing, they don't seem to mind that I don't live there.  Fridays are 'accountability day'.  I emailed in my weight.  I'm happy that there was a negative movement from Tuesday (which is when it started).  Don't know if I'll hit 10 pounds, but that's not the point.  I'll lose as I lose.  Get healthier bit by bit.  Feel better.  Physically and mentally.  And already, I notice the difference in how I feel...not eating sugar and crap.  I always thought those people were ridiculous..those people who say that sugar bogs you down.  Turns out, they are right.

Day 6 - 178.0.  More sadness.  One of my dear friends received a text from her husband of 15-years ending their marriage.  A text.  And that's all she got because then he turned his phone off.  I am stunned.  We are all stunned.  So even though this is my weight loss blog...I have to say...satan gets the best of us...because this guy?  One of the good ones!  Their marriage?  One of those ones that you watch and smile.  Their family?  Tight...and now...my friend is going through hell...their four children are going through hell...and I feel helpless because I cannot do a thing to help...because they have to feel the anger and pain no matter what.  Sigh.  So I tell my husband, just tell me you'll never do that to me.  He gives me a look and said we already said that before we got married.  I said yeah...I'm a girl...just tell me again.  So he told me again.  And I did NOT eat cookies.  To clarify further: I didn't eat A cookie either.  I did, however, about die when I did the challenge on that facebook thing...to stop right now and do 100 jumping jacks and tell them how long it took you...jeepers...I thought it'd be easier than it was.  Maybe I'll do it again...

Day 7 - 177.4.  I'll take that number!  And yes, I still want a cookie.  But when I go days without, it's easier to not..knock on wood... (yes, i knocked on wood, don't mess with that stuff!!!)  Tomorrow morning will be my 'official' weigh in though.  And the new number for next week's start...can't have a cookie and mess up the downward path.  However..I am excited for dinner...because I have an awesome topping for my turkey burgers on PV days.  Last night, hubby asked me if I wasn't tired of turkey patties yet...I said nope..surprisingly so.  Not tired of my hot oat bran cereal...not tired of cooking up my turkey patties in the Foreman Grill...probably because of all the spices I use to compensate for not using salt.  I will have to post the recipe I found for the turkey burger stuff...here's to a day of music at church and no sugar/flour/etc!

Official weigh in from the end of my twenty-third week in the Cruise Phase:  176.0

Week twenty-three weight loss:  4.4 lbs

Total weight loss:  29 lbs