Start: 174
Day 1 - 174.0. That makes the grand total poundage lost a whopping 31 pounds! And this morning, I am grateful that I started this blog...the daily weigh-ins force some accountability, but without putting it here, where anyone who passes by this website can see, I may have given up or fudged a lot more than I did the past few weeks. But knowing that someone can see what I'm doing..or not doing...and knowing that my sister does read this..well, I really do have to be accountable. Can't fake the black and white. So. I have lost 2/3 of the weight that I set off to lose. I can SO do 1/3 more. I've already lost 15 pounds twice in the past few months. Here goes the third and final time. For good.
Day 2 - 173.8. I'll take it. Yesterday, I had a few difficult moments. Hubby asked if I was over the cravings. I said I can handle the cravings...what I have a difficult time with is my attitude of late. He asked what's that? I said just being annoyed...wanting to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. He was surprised to hear that I've had a few attitude-y weeks. Guess that's part of my problem...keeping things inside. Not that I have to share every annoying feeling that I feel...but it's part of my walls...internalizing...part of what Dr. Phil says is the problem of chewing on food instead of chewing people out. NOT that I need to chew out my husband...we have good conversations...getting better at it...the point is to quit internalizing. So, in that spirit...here is my embarrassing moment: I forgot I had a birthmark. Seriously. I forgot. Because I haven't seen it for years. A few days ago...while poking around the mushy fat that remains on my belly...just feeling at how mushy it is compared to how solid it was...I saw this brown spot and raised my eyebrows because it surprised me. And instantly, I remembered I had a birthmark...then felt stupid for forgetting that I had one. It had been hanging out where it has been for all of my life. But...hidden on the underside of that tummy roll that has gotten a lot smaller and now no longer has an underside to hide from me. So there you have it. A big moment in this journey...I found my birthmark!
Day 3 - 173.8. Well...it didn't go up. I guess that's something. And since we're on the subject of something...here's something: I'm not enjoying making food. I usually hate planning dinner menus, but since my "normal" recipe collection is pretty much off limits, I hate it even more. Poor husband. He had Dominos cheesy bread and hot wings last night...I made myself turkey patties and nonfat cottage cheese. Tonight isn't looking good for the cooking-vibe. Maybe left-over rib-eye roast...it was on a good sale this week, and there's still some in the fridge.
Day 4 - 176.something...don't understand that. Perhaps I stood on the scale wrong? Perhaps it's because I didn't eat much yesterday? Dunno. Oh well. Have three days to get it to a better number for my week end number... Fast forward to tonight... Had a meeting 1 1/2 hours from home tonight...brought my "away from home" Atkins drink with me. Neglected to bring it in to the meeting. They served dinner a little after 7. Put salsa and tortilla chips in front of me..the smell made my mouth water. Then, we had a short break to eat. Enchiladas with green sauce...oh my...I took half of one. It was good. I don't feel guilty. I'll recover. The good news is that two of my board members (this group meets once a month) took me aside and told me I look good and, "Alright, how much have you lost?!?" and they wanted to know how...on our way home, the one lady said, okay...now how long has this taken you? It was great. She wrote down the name and said she's going to check out the book. She has two little girls at home...I think I would have a tough time if I had kiddos home. If I don't feel up to it to make "real food" for my husband, he's really good about going with the flow. With no hard feelings. Couldn't do that with my children home. Anyway. That was my day. Ate stuff that isn't on the list, but didn't eat a lot of it. Got some major 'feel goods' from two ladies.
Day 5 - 177.0. Now, under normal circumstances, the rise in the numbers would freak me out...but, not this morning. I'm looking at body signs and this week, there was salt in that food last night and mostly, I'm just having normal female reactions to hormones. This morning, I woke up and I feel so extremely puffy. My lips would qualify me to join Angelina Jolie's family. My hands look puffy. My body feels tight and uncomfortable. I now understand...I think before, my body may have already been too fat to really notice? Don't know. I didn't have my turkey sausage for breakfast...I'm avoiding the little salt I do eat...and the numbers will go back down. At least, that's what my gut is telling me...and we know to not go against our gut, right? So, hopefully, this being so uncomfortable will pass quickly. Went to an activity at church tonight. Had a gym full of women laying on mats with the lights off listening to new age sounds and doing relaxation techniques. It was nice. Then we discussed various ways we de-stress. Then...they had us play modified volleyball...which stressed me out...but it was loads of fun. Got a little sweaty. Played in my flats and jeans...did not eat the dessert...ice cream and homemade hot fudge. Don't care about the ice cream...homemade hot fudge? Now that...that I'm going to pat myself on the back for not eating. Had two ladies tell me how good I'm looking and good job...inquiries about what I'm doing. That was good. That makes a hamburger craving so much easier to ignore. Need to tell my daughter to quit talking to me about hamburgers. :) Instead, I added mustard powder to my turkey burger patties. It'll do for now.
Day 6 - 175.0. I'm choosing to not stress about the numbers. They will continue to go down. Just not today. Feel puffy this morning, not as much as yesterday...but it's still noticeable. No blame on food, because I was good with none-to little salt intake yesterday. Blame it on the full moon and being female. I shall watch it again today. Because not having water retention while traveling has been a TERRIFIC side-effect of this Dukan Diet. So, I've gotten used to not having to deal with it...and to have it at home? Yuck. I'm also kind of sore. Husband saw me taking some pills...asked what was hurting. I said too much competitive spirit in me...I'm thinking the volleyball...I did kind of get into it and jarred the joints from my hands to my shoulders...which are crappy anyway. Last night was fun though. He goes to the dentist today for a deep root cleaning...then we'll see if he's up for a trip to the library...sometimes, I like having company.
Day 7 - 176.something. I need to figure things out. I'm doing self-sabotage...and that is not a good thing. For some reason, I'm just feeling a big resistance thing going on internally...I don't like it. I don't understand it. I want to figure it out and get rid of it.
Official weigh in from the end of my fourteenth week in the Cruise Phase: 176
Week fourteen weight loss: +2 (ouch...that hurt to type)
Total weight loss: 29
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